Pizza, Portnoy, and Partnership: What a Night at Nonna’s Can Teach Modern Couples About Love
Last weekend while visiting my family on Staten Island, I made my way to Nonna’s on Page Ave in Tottenville. It’s a casual Italian spot that’s been continuing to buzz ever since Dave Portnoy’s pizza review went viral. Portnoy, the king of “one-bite” pizza ratings, had given Nonna’s his signature critique. Naturally, I had to see (and taste) what all the hype was about. But as incredible as the pizza was, what stuck with me wasn’t just the food. If you’re curious about the review, check it out here: Nonna’s Staten Island
It was the reminder that relationships, much like pizza, thrive on connection, quality ingredients, and just the right amount of heat.
For modern, ambitious couples balancing careers, goals, and everything in between, these lessons are more relevant than ever.
1. Expectations vs. Reality
Walking into Nonna’s, I had Portnoy’s score in my head. Would the pizza live up to the hype?
In relationships, we often do the same. We enter relationships with unspoken expectations about how love “should” feel. For ambitious couples, these expectations can be even higher: “We should always be on the same page,” or “We should never let work get in the way.”
In Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT), we help partners uncover and share these hidden hopes and fears. Instead of judging each other like a one-bite review, EFT fosters curiosity and openness. It’s not about perfection; it’s about understanding the heart behind the hustle.
2. Shared Rituals Build Security
Splitting a pizza, debating toppings, laughing over a messy slice, are the small rituals creating moments of connection.
For busy couples, it’s easy to let these moments slip through the cracks. But in EFT, we call these rituals the foundation of a secure attachment. It’s the little things like a weekly date night or a quick coffee run together that say, “I’m here for you.”
Even with packed schedules, prioritizing these small, consistent rituals can strengthen the “us” that keeps relationships thriving.
3. Honest Reviews, Delivered with Love
Portnoy is known for his blunt honesty, but in relationships, honesty needs a side of kindness.
For ambitious couples, communication can sometimes feel like a performance review: “You didn’t do this,” or “You always forget that.” EFT teaches couples to move beyond criticism and express the emotions underneath. For example:
Instead of saying, “You never care about my schedule,” try, “I felt overwhelmed when I had to handle that alone.”
This shift transforms conversations from conflict to connection, helping you build a partnership that feels like a true team.
4. The Secret Sauce: Emotional Accessibility
Just as great pizza depends on a flavorful sauce, great relationships depend on emotional accessibility and responsiveness.
For modern couples, this means being able to turn to each other, even in the middle of a busy week, and know your partner is there for you. When you can reliably connect for comfort and understanding, love deepens, like a slow-simmered marinara that only gets better with time.
Bringing It Home
Whether you’re savoring a slice of Nonna’s pizza or nurturing your relationship, the recipe for connection is the same:
Show up with presence.
Share your feelings.
Respond with care.
For ambitious couples, it’s not about finding more time, it’s about making the time you have together count.
Ready to Strengthen Your Relationship?
At Bethany Argenio Therapy, I specialize in helping modern, driven couples build deeper connections through:
Couples counseling in Raleigh, NC (in-person and virtual)
Virtual therapy for couples in New York and Massachusetts
A safe, compassionate space to rediscover your love’s secret sauce
Schedule a complimentary consultation today and start building the secure, thriving partnership you deserve.
